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Post by wingsofaneagle on Sept 11, 2007 12:43:10 GMT -5
Farmer McCarthy lived for many years with only his dog for a companion. One sad day he found his dog dead from old age. He went to his parish priest and asked if services could be said for his dog. The good father said "oh no, we can't have services for a dog here, but there's a new church down the street that might be wiling."
"Father do you think $50,000 might be enough of a donation?" asked farmer McCarthy.
"Well man, why didn't you tell me your dog was a catholic!"
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Brick
Full Member
Posts: 120
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Post by Brick on Sept 11, 2007 12:49:24 GMT -5
Sweet!
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Post by sillymoo on Sept 11, 2007 12:59:03 GMT -5
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA ;D Did you know you can have your beloved pets turned into diamonds for a modest fee. You can carry your beloved pets with you for the rest of your life on your finger. But be careful. The color of your pet can effect the color of your diamond
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Post by shushy on Sept 11, 2007 21:57:26 GMT -5
You will probably think this hilarious but we have laid hands on our pets and prayed for them in the past.........usually that is.
Right now a family memeber I live with has a kitten who badly needs his family jewels removed...he humps everything from my tiger blanket to my legs to anything that will move!!!!!!!!!!!!grrrrrrrrrr hopefully this week he will turn into the placid little darling he once was a few month ago.
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Post by wingsofaneagle on Sept 11, 2007 22:16:29 GMT -5
You will probably think this hilarious but we have laid hands on our pets and prayed for them in the past.........usually that is. Right now a family memeber I live with has a kitten who badly needs his family jewels removed...he humps everything from my tiger blanket to my legs to anything that will move!!!!!!!!!!!!grrrrrrrrrr hopefully this week he will turn into the placid little darling he once was a few month ago. Poor kitty!!!! Itll take about 4-6 weeks for his hormones to subside though so youll have to put up with a little more humping until then!!!! I did the most horrible thing to my "stud" dog. I neutered him when one of the females was in heat!!!! The poor guy didnt know what was wrong with him... either did she!!!!
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savedbyblood
New Member
Here, poochie, poochie, poochie. Want some ground chuck?
Posts: 33
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Post by savedbyblood on Sept 12, 2007 0:27:48 GMT -5
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in Chihuahuas, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the Chihuahua to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the Chihuahua, and went home.
That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the Chihuahua and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the Chihuahua was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
"Well," they said, "Let's try this out."
Once more they called the Chihuahua, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the Chihuahua jumped up into the man's lap, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
Peace,
SBB
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savedbyblood
New Member
Here, poochie, poochie, poochie. Want some ground chuck?
Posts: 33
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Post by savedbyblood on Sept 12, 2007 0:32:29 GMT -5
Somebody, PLEASE stop me... before I post again!
A sad little Chihuahua was telling his troubles to his friend. "I'm depressed. I think negative thoughts. I'm always bored and always tired."
"Why not go see a psychiatrist?" suggested the friend.
"Well, I would," said the Chihuahua, "except that I'm not allowed on the couch."
Peace,
SBB
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Post by ranman77007 on Sept 12, 2007 0:37:16 GMT -5
thanks.... i like the jokes.. ;D
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savedbyblood
New Member
Here, poochie, poochie, poochie. Want some ground chuck?
Posts: 33
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Post by savedbyblood on Sept 13, 2007 0:38:54 GMT -5
[glow=pink,2,300]Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one.
The vendor is too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to un-wrap their 'dogs'. The mother superior begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously,[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]"What part... did you get...?"[/glow]
[glow=yellow,2,100]Peace,
SBB[/glow]
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Post by wanttobewithGod on Sept 13, 2007 14:27:56 GMT -5
LOL...good one, SBB! hehe. I loved the dyslexic atheist one the other day, too....stayed up all night wondering if he believed in dogs. lol I have one...
A woman wanted to get away from it all one day, so she took her husband's little fishing boat out to the middle of the lake. She wanted to read her book in peace and quiet. Pretty soon, though, along comes the game warden. He looks at her, all the fishing equipment, and says, "do you have a fishing permit, Ma'am?" She says, "I don't need one--you see, I'm just out here to relax and read for a while--to enoy the peace and quiet." He replied, "While that may be true, I'm still going to have to cite you...you have all the equipment here, so you could start at any time!" Furious, the woman said, "Well then, Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to report you for sexual harrassment!" He started stuttering and stammering, "but I never harrassed you at ALL, etc etc..." and to that she replied, "but you have all the equipment...you could start at any time!"
Don't mess with women who read.
;D
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Post by wingsofaneagle on Sept 19, 2007 17:12:42 GMT -5
[glow=pink,2,300] Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one.
The vendor is too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to un-wrap their 'dogs'. The mother superior begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously,[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]"What part... did you get...?"[/glow] [glow=yellow,2,100] Peace,
SBB[/glow] ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D This is hilarious!!!!!
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Post by wanttobewithGod on Sept 20, 2007 2:32:08 GMT -5
LOL, yeah, I thought so too! heheeh M.
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savedbyblood
New Member
Here, poochie, poochie, poochie. Want some ground chuck?
Posts: 33
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Post by savedbyblood on Sept 23, 2007 22:08:02 GMT -5
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says "My dog is cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
The vet says, "Well, let's have a look at him." So the vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. Finally he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Just because he is cross-eyed?"
"No, because he is really, really, really, really heavy."
Peace Y'all
SBB
(aka - Rick)
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